those stars fade away
by Kori Kuri
Summary: "Everyone else celebrates, but neither of them seems to care. Both feel uncomfortable and aren't ready for the end of this war. After they've seen so many people die and have been responsible for their deaths it's just weird to go on with life as if nothing has ever happened." – Vector, IV [post canon]


_Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep,_

_dreaming about the things that we could be,_

_but baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,_

_said no more counting dollars,_

we'll be_ counting_ stars

* * *

They see each other when war ends, the abandoned boy and the prince of madness. Everyone else celebrates, but neither of them seems to care. Both feel uncomfortable around so many people and aren't ready for the end of this war. After they've seen so many people die and have been responsible for their deaths it's just weird to go on with life as if nothing has ever happened.

They used to _be_ everything one could wish for, strong and powerful and proud, but it wasn't enough for them, so they kept fighting, cold and ruthless, destroying without a second of hesitation. But it's over, there's nothing left to fight for, everything's okay, everything should be okay now, but it's not, it's too calm – too _boring_ – and there's nothing to do. Fights are over and it's as if the world doesn't even need them anymore. They are warriors, not made for these calm days of happiness, because deep inside, both of them still long for the fight itself, to shine on the battlefields again, to be the only one left standing.

IV has his family back and his father is looking at him, finally values him, and Michael and Chris are okay now, too. His family is together again and they're all happy and they love him despite everything he's done, but it doesn't feel _right_, something's missing, but he doesn't know what, knows that he should be happy; wasn't he fighting for his family in the first place, doesn't he have everything he wished for now. It makes him feel guilty, but he can't change it, he really wants to be happy, but it's hard – impossible. Something really important is still missing, leaving a gap not even Michael's smile or father's appreciation could fill.

Vector's alive, broken and humiliated. The last moments before his death, comforting the Tsukumo brat by pretending they could ever be friends, left him embarrassed. At night, he can't sleep and climbs on the roof of the house he lives in (_like they used to_, a voice in his head whispers, a voice Vector hates and ignores), looks at the stars and thinks about that moment, wonders why he let go of Yuma's hand; why, just why, he spared him, but can't remember it clearly, looks at Phecda and hopes that it was just a moment of weakness.

Some nights, the sky is too dark, he can't see the stars and his body feels _weak_. Those nights, it's cold and he feels lonely (he has always been alone but never felt lonely, so why now) and it's scary. On those nights, he's afraid and suddenly knows why he let go of the Tsukumo boy's hand – on those nights, it's Yuma-kun again and he's not really Vector, but also not really Shingetsu.

Those nights are the worst.

* * *

They are different in some certain aspects, one of them human and the other Barian, both used to stand on different sides of war, but, well, all of it is meaningless now anyway, because in the end, they all joined forces and fought against Don Thousand, the one behind it all, and IV used to believe that Vector was the one responsible for everything and Vector has been proud to be the one behind it all –

anyway, it doesn't really matter now. Everything changed and they used to be different, and are still different, but maybe these differences are attracting them to each other.

It's one of these nights, Vector's laying on the roof alone, watching the starts, when he hears someone and before he could even recognize anything, the person is already sitting next to him, and it's getting really awkward and weird and he finally recognizes the person, and it's IV. Which is pretty unexpected and Vector is rather surprised, but IV smiles, so, yeah. He doesn't really tell IV to leave, doesn't say anything at all, just waits for IV to actually say something.

"You seemed lonely so I thought I should join you. They say you've changed and I've kinda changed, too, so I thought maybe we could get to know each other a little better, you know."

Just to make everything clear, he has definitely not changed, he's still Vector and nobody else and Vector never changes. Don't they know the tree seconds rule? The things that happened after his duel with Nasch don't mean anything at all, but still they're all thinking he suddenly developed something like _feelings_, and that's just foolish, right, he'd rather die than be weakened by such stupid and naïve things.

"You do know that I'm not capable of caring for anyone?"

"Do you know that I've always loved challenges?"

* * *

From that day on, they keep meeting on the roof. IV usually just shows up when he likes to, and just starts to talk to Vector and Vector is kind of annoyed at first, but keeps quiet, like he mostly does nowadays, having lost his pride once again and just accepting everything fate gives him, not caring about anything anymore. Everything lost its importance to Vector. Knowing what it felt like to face death over and over again, left him wondering if anything besides death ever actually meant something, because nothing will last anyway, so where is the point in all of this, in living anyway?

IV chats about this and that, all this pointless stuff Vector didn't care about before and absolutely doesn't care about now, but between the lines, he gets that IV has something on his chest he doesn't want to talk about, but Vector doesn't push it, let's IV alone with it, doesn't care about the boys problems. If there's something IV wanted to tell him, he'd just say it, right?

Anyway, it actually becomes a thing between them and IV starts to talk about other topics, his past and what's left of his future. At some point, Vector even starts to listen to him properly, but doesn't look at the boy, gaze always fixed on the starts, _his _star, voices in his head whisper. Somehow, IV starts to remind him of someone. He doesn't know exactly who it is, but there's a certain image in his mind of a prince who tossed aside everything for the sake of his own goals

Some nights, the sky is dark, and he can't see his star, but those nights don't bother him anymore and when he walks through the streets, he lifts his head again, as if some of his shattered pride returned again.


End file.
